Pastor Takes Credit for Hurricane Harvey leaving (satire)

Pastor Roger Heresy takes credit for Hurricane Harvey finally leaving Texas.  Pastor Heresy, senior pastor of Houston Congregation Word of Faith Pentecostal Chapel, told local news networks that his fervent prayer finally was answered after many days of prayer.  His family was also praying, but for evacuation of his $400k home in Southeast Houston.  
Pastor Heresy was visiting the Osteen's home when the hurricane hit.  Frustrated that God did not warn of the incoming danger of landfall from Hurricane Harvey, he was nonetheless not to be deterred. inspired by the great Word of Faith teaching of Kenneth and Gloria Copeland, that through their faith, that the weather can be controlled. 
"Jesus calmed the storm while the disciples panicked," replied the Senior Pastor.  "I had no doubt that the weather was also under my domain as a believer.  It was reminded to me of the persistent lady in Luke 17, who kept coming to the judge until he could not take her nagging anymore.  I knew the weather would be like that judge.  Eventually, it would be subjugate to my faith in prayer."
While many questioned why he couldn't keep it from coming to Texas, he reassured his congregation that, without his persistent prayer, Houston would be under 25 feet of water.  His alibi was prayer would come faster than having time to build an ark.
Many of the Word of Faith preachers have cancelled many of the appointments in December to come to Texas and personally congratulate Mr. Heresy on his faith and persistence in removing Harvey from the Houston area.   
"I know it took five days, but this was a big storm," mentioned Pastor Heresy.  "This took great faith and great courage to be in prayer one hour a day for five days to remove such a great storm.  It took all my effort to use that time, since the Osteens have such a great cook.  I lost my position on 'Call of Duty' so I could answer this great call of God.  I also prayed my vacation ranch near Corpus Christi survived the hurricane, but my faith says it is."
Pastor Roger Heresy says his family and congregation will be ready for the next tragedy to show their faith to the world.  He believes his next great feat of faith will be to prevent the Great Tribulation and the next drought in California, whichever comes first.